Number IV - PERSONAL TESTIMONIES

IV Chapter

(The Forth Notebook, November 2002)

PERSONAL TESTIMONIES

FOREWORD

Being led by the God’s providence, during my work on the awakening and reform of the God’s people, I have published only a part of the testimony that were given to me up to date. Those revelations have been directed to the Church as a whole, but, except them, I forwarded a certain number of personal testimoines, which represent a divine description of the spiritual state and needs of the individuals, to whom they were directed. I publish some of them by His command, so that the instructions, advice, and warnings, which are included in them, could be used in benefit of everybody, who would want it. Every of the twelve letters and testimonies, that have been included in the contents of this notebook, represent one more of the last appeals of God’s mercy to all whom this news reaches.

»In ancient times God spoke to men by the mouth of prophets and apostles. In these days He speaks to them by the testimonies of His Spirit. There was never a time when God instructed His people more earnestly than He instructs them now concerning His will and the course that He would have them pursue.

The Lord reproves and corrects the people who profess to keep His law. He points out their sins and lays open their iniquity because He wishes to separate all sin and wickedness from them, that they may perfect holiness in His fear... God rebukes, reproves, and corrects them, that they may be refined, sanctified, elevated, and finally exalted to His own throne« (5T 661)

"The Lord designs to warn you, to reprove, to counsel, through the testimonies given, and to impress your minds with the importance of the truth of His word. The written testimonies are not to give new light, but to impress vividly upon the heart the truths of inspiration already revealed. Man's duty to God and to his fellow man has been distinctly specified in God's word, yet but few of you are obedient to the light given. Additional truth is not brought out; but God has through the  'testimonies'  simplified the great truths already given and in His own chosen way brought them before the people to awaken and impress the mind with them, that all may be left without excuse.

»Pride, self-love, selfishness, hatred, envy, and jealousy have beclouded the perceptive powers, and the truth, which would make you wise unto salvation, has lost its power to charm and control the mind. The very essential principles of godliness are not understood because there is not a hungering and thirsting for Bible knowledge, purity of heart, and holiness of life. The  Testimonies  are not to belittle the word of God, but to exalt it and attract minds to it, that the beautiful simplicity of truth may impress all.

Repentant sinners have no cause to despair because they are reminded of their transgressions and warned of their danger. These very efforts in their behalf show how much God loves them and desires to save them. They have only to follow His counsel and do His will, to inherit eternal life. God sets the sins of His erring people before them, that they may behold them in all their enormity under the light of divine truth. It is then their duty to renounce them forever." "If God's people would recognize His dealings with them and accept His teachings, they would find a straight path for their feet and a light to guide them through darkness and discouragement.

Warnings and reproofs are not given to the erring among Seventh-day Adventists because their lives are more blame worthy than are the lives of professed Christians of the nominal churches, nor because their example of their acts are worse than those of the Adventists who will not yield obedience to the claims of God's law, (*it is about  Adventist groups beyond our Church), but because they have great light, and have by their profession taken their position as God's special, chosen people, having the law of God written in their hearts. They signify their loyalty to the God of heaven by yielding obedience to the laws of His government. They are God's representatives upon the earth. Any sin in them separates them from God and, in a special manner, dishonors His name by giving the enemies of His holy law occasion to reproach His cause and His people, whom He has called 'a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people,' that they should show forth the praises of Him that hath called them out of darkness into His marvelous light..« (5T 661-665)

TESTIMONIES FOR INDIVIDUALS

   

“But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self- control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power...” (2. Timothy 3,1-5)

“...The word of the Lord came to me, saying: Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; therefore hear a word from My mouth, and give them warning from Me: When I say to the wicked, 'You shall surely die,' and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life, that same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. Yet, if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul. Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and I lay a stumbling block before him, he shall die; because you did not give him warning, he shall die in his sin, and his righteousness which he has done shall not be remembered; but his blood I will require at your hand. Nevertheless if you warn the righteous man that the righteous should not sin, and he does not sin, he shall surely live because he took warning...”

LETTER TO BROTHER V…

Brother V…, although we know each other very little, the duty – but also diligence for the good of the God’s cause, which He has implanted into my heart – made me turn to you in this way and reveal this, what had been shown to me as a necessity.

You will certainly remember that we talked in several occasions, and that at one of them I told you in short the content of the news, which the Lord has given to me to reveal to His people. Then I also gave you to peruse the first notebook of the testimonies, which I published in August last year under the title “Prepare to meet your God, O Israel”, and I asked you to pray to the Lord to be convinctied of the credibility of the work, that I was called to do. Jesus promised that no one, who came to Him with a sincere heart and a wish not to be deceived, would not be expelled. His promise is as follows:

»Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find... For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds...« (Matthew 7, 7.8.)

Brother, the Lord calls you to hold firmly to those promises and meet what He will give you certainly as an answer to your sincere wish to get to know His will in this time. He asks every one of His sincere followers, who wishes to serve Him totally and without hypocrisy, to accept the message, which He sends us, and take part in this last work of awakening and reforming of the God's people. Therefore I ask you to pay no attention about the numerous false and empty stories that circle around but to accept this call, for the Lord is the One who will give you the strength to overcome any sin and the power with which you could give glory to His name, if you wish so, for He is worthy of that. Do so.

Belgrade, 30 July 2002

TO BROTHER B...

Brother, after much time I am finally in the situation to get in touch with you. Recently I saw your e-mail address on an Internet forum ... and decided at the occasion to get in touch with you as soon as the moment comes by the God's will.

I still remember very well the days we spent together when I visited your place, as well as everything you did for me. I would like once more to thank you very much for that and to express my wish to return it to you in any way. You should know that I have not forgotten you and I often pray for you. I think about you and I pray that God plentifully blesses you with every possible gift, and I also hope to see you soon, if it were by His wish. While I am writing this I wonder what happens at yours, for I have not heard of anything for a long time.

As to me, for sometime I work on the awakening and reformation of the Adventist people, as Christ Himself called me to. Before I stayed at yours in ... the last time, I got the conviction from God that the time has come and the moment arrived for me to devote myself completely to the work He prepared me for. It happened in April last year when the Holy Spirit came upon me and convinced me about it. But the first call to get prepared for this service I got soon after the baptism, when I had the first vision. Before I got this vision, the Lord twice came to me and spoke with me in my dream and with those experiences He showed what He expected from me. Of course, everything was conditioned and depended on my complet devotion to Him.

The time was passing by and when the moment came – this last and decisive call arrived and I responded to it with all my heart. After my return from ... the revelations were given to me, which I have published in my first part under the title »Prepare to meet your God, O Israel«, which meant the real beginning of my public work on the awakening and reforming of the God's people.

Up till this moment the work has already got international dimensions, because the revelations I have published, are being read and spread on several continents. A little more about this work you may find out from the revelations themselves, which I include with this letter. If you will be interested about anything in particular, you may send an e-mail message to me and I shall gladly answer...

Finally, I would like to convay to you something that is meant for you personally, which God has shown to me and told me to convey to you. It was shown to me that you were in a deep darkness and that the time had come for you to get out of it, otherwise the door of the heaven would close down for you for ever. I saw that, in spite of your theoretical exposition of the doctrine of justifying by faith, you do not have that teaching in your everyday, live experience, and you build the tower of your salvation on sand – meaning, on your »good deeds«.

Brother, the Lord calls you TO MEET HIM – TO GET TO KNOW HIM LIKE A LIVING AND OMNIPRESENT PERSON, WHO WISHES AND SHOULD LEAD YOU IN EVERYTHING YOU DO IN YOUR LIFE. THE REAL FAITH AND UNITY WITH THE LIVING SAVIOUR IS ONLY SUCH, WHERE A CHRISTIAN IS AWARE THAT HE DEPENDS COMPLETELY ON JESUS, AND WHERE HE SEEKS THAT CHRIST WERE THE ONE TO CHANGE HIS CHARACTER AND FREE HIM FROM ATTEMPTS TO JUSTIFY HIMSELF WITH HIS WORKS. WE HAVE TO WATCH OVER OURSELVES EVERY MOMENT AND SEEK FROM JESUS TO PURGE US FROM ANY SIN THAT EXISTS IN US. Let the David's prayer be yours aswell: "CREATE IN  ME A CLEAN HEART, O GOD, AND RENEW A STEADFAST SPIRIT WITHIN ME." (Psalms 51,10.) Only those who pray in such a way can come into the God’s kingdom. Except this there is no salvation.

Please, do obey this advice so that the Holy Christ’s Spirit may dwell into you and give you His mighty, divine peace.

Belgrade, 17 August 2002

TO A PREACHER

Brother ..., by my own, but, first of all, by the God's will, I turn to you in this way with a wish that you see the testimonies which I am sending to you, as well as the content of this letter, in the light of the written God's word, which makes the real and only measure of all the existing values.

I am sure that you are acquainted with a greater part of the work of mine as well as of my co-workers, who had been raised like me in order to finally complete the long awaited for reform of the Adventist people, so that little of what I am going to tell to you will be new to you. You will certainly remember that already in August last year I gave you the notebook of the testimonies with a title »Prepare to meet your God, O Israel«, so that you could have had almost a year to study this work as well as all that, what happened during our public work. Regarding to the length of this last period, I must say that it was more than long enough for a God's child, who has a firm unity with Him, to get an answer to his sincere wish to get to know His will.

In several occasions I saw that you were sure about the credibility and origin of this work, but the lack of courage and faith, which developed as a result of your yielding of many years to your weaknesess, prevented you to accept this work and stand completely on the God's side. Then God would lavishly bless you and give you strength and power to represent Him accordingly, while working on the awakening of this people, who is in a lethal sleep. That is a big omission, dear brother, and the Lord appeals to you, while there is still time enough, to correct the mistake and give glory to the Saviour, who had been crucified for our sins, knowing that all the tresuries of the heaven are open to those, who yield in childish devotion to the One, who will not expell them out, as long as they have at least a little wish to devote to Him in a total and unconditional yielding.

Belgrade, 06 August 2002.

TO THE ELDER OF A CHURCH

Brother, all the words of this letter, which I am sending to you by the God's command, represent an open appeal to you to check upon yourself in the light of that, which is the only criterium and rule of life, revealed in His word.

I am sure that you are in a great degree aware of the heaviness of your mistakes, that you have beeing done either in conducting your everyday duties or in your whole christian experience. Accepting the duties of the elder of a church, you took upon yourself a load of a responsibility that you were not ready to take in the right way, and in that way you often made a bad influence on the souls that were intrusted to you. I saw that you made many and sincere efforts to induce positiv changes in those locations, where you had the access, but also that you missed to use the gifts and authority which you attained by your position to fulfill those aims in the God's power, since you pleased your ego, which was not regenerated enough.

Brother, the God appeals to you to reject every compromise and sin, that is attached to your heart, and to yield to Him without a delay in a total and unconditinal consecration, because in the contrary your time of mercy will soon elapse. The appeal is God's, and the decision – yours. Make the right one.

Belgrade, 06. August 2002.

TO SISTER N...

Sister N..., I am turning to you with a sincere wish that you accept what I am going to lay out like the »words true and sincere«, for they are the expression of the will of the One whom knows every human heart. I am not happy to have to say that there lays a heavy God’s indignation upon you, but the oath I have made, when I was called to this service, makes me reveal every testimony that was given to me in the full light in which it was shown to me.

I saw that you were not ready for the complete obedience to every request of the God’s word, and that you tried to hide this spiritual failure with your justice. Like Cain, you also wished to fulfil the God’s will in your own way, trying to build your authority with your doings and secure for yourself the human sympathy and glory.

With such conduct for a long time you showed a bad example to many souls, who imitated you under the impression of your false authority. Dear sister, the Lord appeals to you to reject the masque of false godliness, which you relatively consciously have put on your face, and not to play any more neither with your own life, nor with the lives of those souls, which have been entrusted to you by your position in the Church. He appeals to you to repent sincerely for your sins and to accept and confess Jesus Christ as your personal living Saviour, the only one who might free you of the God’s disapproval that lays upon you. Reject your deeds and accept His justice in order to feel good.

Belgrade, 30 July 2002.

TO A MARRIED COUPLE

Brother…, I am turning to you with the God’s instruction and with the wish that you accept, what I am going to expose to you in this letter, like an expression of the revelation of His will, but also like an expression of my free will and wish that we, who call ourselves the God’s people, finally walk on the path of spiritual progress. We have had many occasions to speak, so that your stand as to the work I do with my co-workers is very well known to me. It was shown to me in an inspiration that you were mistaken for a long time about the understanding of the subject of justifying by faith, and that your long-term embedding in it was accompanied with a conscious yielding to the spirit of independence and vanity, which you veiled with formal godliness. With such conduct you made way for rejection of the consciousness about  justification by faith, which you late had the opportunity to see in the proper light, which is one of the basic reasons which prevented you to accept the work of the awakening and reform, which the Lord has started exactly on these territories.

I saw that for many times you had been convincted of the origin and the seriousness of the mistakes you were making, and that you were close to answering the influences of the Holy Spirit, who appealed to you with His activity to firmly hold to His power and subdue to Him completely. But when you saw the size of the sacrifice you have to do in order to let the problem be solved with the God’s methods, you rejected those appeals and decided consciously to take the easier path.

Besides those features of your character, one more sin of yours have been shown to me, which poisoned your heart, fencing it from the influence of the God’s mercy. I saw that selfishness, together with a wish for a free and random pleasing yourself, is the biggest problem of your life and that it will cost you salvation if you in the nearest future do not ask for forgiveness and power, with which only Christ may clean you of this lethal illness.

While I was writing this letter I got an instruction from God to forward to you His extreme indignation with the very dishonoured, even shameful appearance and behaviour of your unconsecrated spouse, whose being govern strong and uncontrolled passions. As a head of the family, you are responsible in a great degree for her state, for as the priest Eli you were not ready to raise a voice of real reproach, which fulfils its goal only when behind it there is a devoted life, which only may give it power. In the name of the One, who is big, great, pure, I appeal to your spouse to yield to the only Saviour in deep humbleness and sincere repent in order to protect herself from the God’s great anger, which will very soon fall upon all those who refuse to subdue to Him voluntarily.

Brother …, I wish and pray that you understand my good intention, as well as His, whose will and revelations I expressed with this letter, and accept those appeals.

Belgrade, 01 August 2002.

»FOR A BISHOP MUST BE BLAMELESS...«

Brother R..., I am sorry that I can not be more extensive in my letter because of the many duties and services, which I perform, but I sincerely hope that you will not take it too hard. This letter represents the expression of God's appeal to you to deeply question yourself in the light of what had been revealed to us for our good and salvation in His holy Word.

I saw that the Lord is extremely unsatisfied with your service up to date, and that you time of mercy will soon elapse, if you do not subdue to Him in a total and unconditioned obedience. For years you despised the holiness of His commandments and with the open yielding to vanity and self-respect you made bad influence on your environment. It is really time for you to realise that God is real, big and holy, and that He is the one who shall come to give to every one »according to his deeds«.

The position of an elder of a church, which had been given to you exclusively by a human instruction, makes you case many times more difficult, because you will have to give an answer for every soul that had been entrusted to you, unless you repented sincerely for all the doings and mistakes that you have done. As your brother, but first of all as the God's messenger, I appeal to you to accept this warning before the heaven's door closes to you for ever.

Belgrade, 30 July 2002. 

TO PASTOR M..

Pastor M..., I am addressing  you in this way with a wish that you acept the words of this appeal, that I am sending to you, with the consciousness that it is one of the last ones that will ever be sent to you and that your time of mercy will soon elapse if you continually refuse to subdue to all the God’s commandments, which are clearly explained in the HOLY Scriputre and the writings of the Spirit of Prophecy.

I saw that in several occasions you were certain that this work, that I am doing with the other brothers and sisters, is of a divine origin, but, nevertheless, you did not do anything to obey the voice of the Holy God’s Spirit, who appealed to you to subdue to Him completely and immediately. Instead of doing what your consciousness clearly had been calling you to, you not only despised its voice, but you openly rose against the God Himself, who is the only and real initiator of this work.

Your folly is big, but as big is the God’s anger, which you deserved by your doings. I appeal to you in the name of Jesus Christ to repent your sins and put them onto the One, who loves you so much, that exactly because of them, as well as the sins of all of us, He underwent the shameful and undeserved death. Can you believe that? It is enough only to say: “I believe, Oh, Lord, help my unbelief”.

It is God’s will and my prayer, that the story of Saul from Tarsus be yours as well. The appeal is God’s and the decision is yours. What will you do?

Belgrade, August 2002. 

TO SISTER T…

Dear sister, during the last few months in several occasions a need was shown to me to address you and forward to you what has been told me. I went in front of God several times in order to obtain His approval to tell you what has been revealed to me, but I got it only now.

I believe you will remember our last conversation in …, when I indirectly pointed to you at the need to reject any compromise and sin, that has adhered to your heart. At the same time, this is the most important reason why I am turning to you, since I saw that the warning, I had given you at the occasion, must be repeated in a louder and more serious tone, because – as it was shown to me clearly – you neither understood nor got it in a right way.

I saw that you do not struggle enough against your hereditary and cultivated weaknesses, and that it will cost you the salvation if you do not COMPLETELY yield to the One, who is the only one to can clean and whiten you with His precious blood, which He shed because of your sins too on the Golgotha cross. T…, as the God’s messenger, but also as your brother in Jesus Christ, I beg you to accept this warning, because it represents one of the last calls of the God’s mercy for you, since regardless of everything that you have done during the long time of your Christian experience, you should know that the Holy and Eternal God can accept only a heart that is not divided. Anything less than that – leads to a certain abyss. God is merciful indeed, but do not forget that even His mercy has an end and that it will be denied first of all to those, who have had the biggest light, if they do not hold to it completely.

Regardless of how our own weaknesses look to us small and unimportant, we should know that they exactly will be our judges unless we do not ask from all our heart that the Lord be the one, who will fulfil his will through us.

Therefore I am asking you once more, in His name, but in mine also – do not waste a moment more, but yield to Him with your ALL mind and heart, and he will give you all the strength and power that you need. "And may your WHOLE spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it." (1.Thessalonians 5, 23.24.) Hold firmly onto this promise.

Belgrade, August 2002.

TO BROTHER S…

S…, today, after the morning prayer and perusal, the Holy Spirit descended upon me and showed me once more your case, which had been pointed to me already in the past. This time it was accompanied with a special inspiration and a clear appeal to forward to you, for your own good and salvation, what had been shown to me.

As I already mentioned, through our meetings and conversations that we led, for several times the Holy Spirit uncovered your spiritual state to me. I saw that you build your spiritual salvation on a wrong foundation. So it means that you have not constructed a life-giving unity with the Only Saviour as it is clearly determinated by the teaching of the Holy Bible. It is stated in the Holy Bible that only those who know Jesus – have eternal life; those who live in a continuous union with the One who redeemed them with His more than precious blood (John 17,3). Every one who calls himself His, while with his life brings shame to the holy God’s name and denies the truth, which stays only on his lips, does big sin. Selfishness, subdued pride and disobedience are only some of the evils that poison your heart.

I saw that you were not ready for the complete and unconditioned submitting to all the God’s commandments and that you decided this consciously, in spite of the clear warnings of the Holy Spirit, who appealed to you through your consciousness and warned you to reject the sins, which firmly occupied your heart. You say: “The God’s way is not straight”, “He does not ask us to be so unsubtle and fanatical; a compromise is allowed too”. I testify to you in front of the God, that the one, who thinks so, will be lost forever unless he rejects such a deadly prejudice. The Holy and Eternal God can accept only those, who serve Him with all their mind and heart, for »he who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked« (1. John 2,6.)

S…, the Lord has shown to me that this is one of the last appeals, which the Heaven sends you, and that your time of mercy will soon end, unless you accept it totally and without delay. Give yourself to Jesus and seek to get to know Him. Today – till there is still time.

Belgrade, 19 August 2002. 

»YOU SHALL NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD YOUR GOD IN VAIN...«

Sister…, during the last two months the Lord has shown to me in several occasions all the seriousness of your state. I saw that you rejected for years the clear calls of mercy, which the Holy Spirit had sent to you through your mind and consciousness. It is stated in the Holy Bible that Christ is »the true Light, which gives light to every man who comes into the world« (John 1,9). This means that there is no man, who might not have been in any way convincted in the God's existence and activity. But, in spite of the clear and obvious revelations of His presence, a great number of people of this world follows the path of indipendence and love towards sin, tearing themselves in this way from the only Spring of life. The state of those people is very bad in the God's eyes, but even worse is the state of those, who willingly and consciously refuse to obey to His requests, although they have all the possible advantages.

This is the warning, which the Heaven sends to you too, since you have been despising and rejecting the God's word, which you didn't allow to reach your heart and do its vivifying influence. It was shown to me that you do not have the right understanding of the human relationship with God. You have never approached Him with the awareness, that He is a real and living person, who might and should be acquanted with – and He that is. The God that is real and present, although we can not see Him face to face because of our sinful state, He will not for ever bear our sinsfulness and unworthiness. In every man's life there is a limit, up till God is ready to wait, but when the limit is being crossed, after many appeals and warnings, then there is nothing left to be done for him. Sister, I appeal to you in the name of Jesus Christ, to think thoroughly about this, because it is the truth, the truth which may bring you »enjoyment« in sin and the eternal death, or obedience to the One, who created you and redeemed you to give you eternal life. Your heavenly father, the One who brings lively strength into your being every day, the One to whom you by baptising promised the voluntary obedience, appeals to you to do it in reality. He has done everything for you, He gave you His life. Crucified on the Golgotha cross, He suffered for your sins too, to give you the eternal life.

»And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.« (John 17,3). The total yielding and vivifying union of the acquanting with Him, which is being held and getting stronger each moment – it is the only right path. The short period of mercy that is in front of you slowly but certainly elapses, so do not hesitate, but walk that path and let Jesus to fill you with heavenly peace. Do it – and the heaven will be joyful.

Belgrade, 14 November 2002.

»THOSE WHO ARE SINNING REBUKE IN THE PRESENCE OF ALL...«

 (1. Timothy 5,20)

“The word of the LORD came to me, saying, Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; therefore hear a word from My mouth, and give them warning from Me: When I say to the wicked, 'You shall surely die,' and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life, that same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. Yet, if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul.”

“Christ told them plainly that in attributing the work of the Holy Spirit to Satan, they were cutting themselves off from the fountain of blessing. Those who had spoken against Jesus Himself, not discerning His divine character, might receive forgiveness; for through the Holy Spirit they might be brought to see their error and repent. Whatever the sin, if the soul repents and believes, the guilt is washed away in the blood of Christ; but he who rejects the work of the Holy Spirit is placing himself where repentance and faith cannot come to him. It is by the Spirit that God works upon the heart; when men wilfully reject the Spirit, and declare It to be from Satan, they cut off the channel by which God can communicate with them. When the Spirit is finally rejected, there is no more that God can do for the soul.” (DA 322).

Only God knows how heavy is the burden, which lays on my heart while I write those words, following His decisive instruction, the words that are an expression of a testimony, directed to a man, who rejected the appeals of the God’s mercy for years, in order to make his final decision. This public testimony is sent to brother …, who publicly blasphemed and consciously minimized the work of God, in spite of all the requests and warnings, which had been sent to him on time, according to God’s will.

Brother …, God has shown to me that you had been consciously making compromises for many years, not wanting to yield to Him completely or obey every advice, which exists in His every word. With such behaviour you built the tower of your salvation on sand, preparing with that your eternal spiritual disaster. The limit of the God’s mercy, at which you had been standing already, was crossed over forever by the rejection of those last warnings. Oh, if only you wanted to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit of God, who spoke to your heart, and many times testified to you and asked you not to swear and not to rebel against the works and people, whom He motivated. Why did you not obey to those calls, brother…? And you knew very well where they came from. “The Pharisees to whom Jesus spoke this warning did not themselves believe the charge they brought against Him... But after their rejection of Him it would be too humiliating to receive Him as the Messiah. Having set their feet in the path of unbelief, they were too proud to confess their error. And in order to avoid acknowledging the truth, they tried with desperate violence to dispute the Saviour's teaching.” And “they did everything in their power to misrepresent Him and to falsify His words”. (DA 322 )

I saw that the main reason of your spiritual disaster was your vanity and self-respect. You did not want to accept words of divine and brother’s rebuke, which came through those who are on the gamut of your understanding of values far under you. Gedeon – “the leader whom God chose to overthrow the Midianites occupied no prominent position in Israel. He was not a ruler, a priest, or a Levite. He thought himself the least in his father's house. But God saw in him a man of courage and integrity. He was distrustful of himself and willing to follow the guidance of the Lord. God does not always choose for His work men of the greatest talents, but He selects those whom He can best use. "Before honour is humility." Proverbs 15:33. The Lord can work most effectually through those who are most sensible of their own insufficiency, and who will rely upon Him as their leader and source of strength. He will make them strong by uniting their weakness to His might, and wise by connecting their ignorance with His wisdom.

If they would cherish true humility, the Lord could do much more for His people; but there are few who can be trusted with any large measure of responsibility or success without becoming self-confident and forgetful of their dependence upon God. This is why, in choosing the instruments for His work, the Lord passes by those whom the world honours as great, talented, and brilliant. They are too often proud and self-sufficient. They feel competent to act without counsel from God. “Because I have called and you refused, I have stretched out my hand and no one regarded, because you disdained all my counsel, and would have none of my reproof, I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your terror comes, when your terror comes like a storm, and your destruction comes like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish come upon you. Then they will call on me, but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently, but they will not find me. Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the LORD, would have none of my counsel and despised all my reproof, therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way, and be filled to the full with their own fancies.” (PP 553.554.; Proverbs 1, 24-31)

The “knowledge”, which you collected for years, during time began a great idol of your life, while, in the end, it took you over the boundary of the eternal disaster. “The words of the wise are like goads, and the words of scholars are like well-driven nails, given by one Shepherd. And further, my son, be admonished by these. Of making many books there is no end, and much study is wearisome to the flesh. Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every work into judgment, including every secret thing, whether it is good or whether it is evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12,11-14.)

Thus once more was proved the greatness and necessity of the human need for a complete obedience to the Creator and unconditioned fulfilment of every commandment and advice we were given, since “ALL Scripture is given...” (2.Timothy 3,16) Therefore, “Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.” ( Rev. 22.14.) Your final decision, by which you definitely parted yourself from the God’s mercy, will be proved very soon by His just judgement like a warning to everyone, who walk for a long time the path you have walked. The Lord is merciful and bears much, but let us not forget that His second name is “the Lord our righteousness.” ( Jeremiah 33, 16 ) As it was written: “Mercy and the truth have met together, Righteousness and peace have kissed each other.” ( Ps. 85, 10. )

He says: “Do I have any pleasure at all that the wicked should die?" says the Lord God, "and not that he should turn from his ways and live? But when a righteous man turns away from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and does according to all the abominations that the wicked man does, shall he live? All the righteousness which he has done shall not be remembered; because of the unfaithfulness of which he is guilty and the sin which he has committed, because of them he shall die. Yet you say, 'The way of the Lord is not fair.' Hear now, O house of Israel, is it not My way which is fair, and your ways which are not fair? When a righteous man turns away from his righteousness, commits iniquity, and dies in it, it is because of the iniquity which he has done that he dies. Again, when a wicked man turns away from the wickedness which he committed, and does what is lawful and right, he preserves himself alive. Because he considers and turns away from all the transgressions which he committed, he shall surely live; he shall not die. Yet the house of Israel says, 'The way of the Lord is not fair.' O house of Israel, is it not My ways which are fair, and your ways which are not fair? Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways," says the Lord God. "Repent, and turn from all your transgressions, so that iniquity will not be your ruin. Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O house of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies," says the Lord God. "Therefore turn and live!” (Ezekiel 18, 23-32). Let us obey this advice.

»Many are dealing falsely with their own souls and are in a great deception in regard to their true condition before God. He employs ways and means to best serve His purpose and to prove what is in the hearts of His professed followers. He makes plain the wrongs of some that others may thus be warned and fear and shun those errors. By self-examination they may find that they are doing the same things which God condemns in others. If they really desire to serve God, and fear to offend Him, they will not wait for their sins to be specified before they make confession and with humble repentance return unto the Lord. They will forsake the things which have displeased God, according to the light given to others. If, on the contrary, those who are not right see that they are guilty of the very sins that have been reproved in others, yet continue in the same unconsecrated course because they have not been specially named, they endanger their own souls...« (5T 660-661)